Dictionary Dictionary

You do not have the roles required to access this portlet.

Blogs Blogs

4 Considerations Before You Say “I Do”

Besides the question how can you find love, practically at some point you will ask how do you know when you’ve come across the right one. Here are some ideal guidelines in finding a soulmate or for picking the right partner. If you’ve found someone possessing all these four, then, that only tells you he or she is most likely your soulmate.

1. What are his or her core values?

In deciding whether to marry him or her, you must always take into consideration whether or not the person is completely committed to a sort of impartial moral and ethical standards. In finding a soulmate, you  have to remember that everyone has personalities circling around one core value. And whatever happens, it’s the important thing you hold on to.

2. Does he or she treat other people well?

The second criterion is pretty obvious. If you are going to marry somebody, you would want her or him to take good care of you. So how do you know if he or she is the kind of caring person you wanted? All you have to do is spend some time and pay attention to how he or she treat other people who are not exactly friends or don’t really care enough to charm. Are they used to saying thank you and are courteous? Are they easily pissed off when they don’t immediately get what they want from other people? Are they aggressive when driving like they own the road?

Start asking these questions and pay enough attention to the answers as they reflect traits you will come across in the future. This will give you an idea of how you’re going to be treated when the two of you are married.

3. Does a good communication exist between the two of you?

Start with a good communication. This translates to a good understanding of one another. To you it may sometimes seem pretty obvious but the truth is, it’s not. A lot of times you will see couples fighting and it may last for about an hour or even overnight only to realize that it was all just a misunderstanding. Misunderstandings normally happen in relationships. However, if they become a constant source of arguments, there is a good chance that it becomes something unchangeable.

4. Does a physical attraction exist between the two of you?

Being physically attracted with each other is not only important in dating. The fact is it is as important in marriage too. You can’t be married with someone you’re not physically attracted to. While it’s easy for men to figure out whether or not they are attracted to their partners, it may take some time for women to realize it. Oftentimes, women may not feel an initial attraction to men. However, the more he knows him, the more she will find him attractive. But you must remember that even when it’s important to have physical attraction, a marriage must not have it as the foundation. Physical attraction must be another way of expressing something of deeper meaning emotionally and spiritually. The idea is to make certain the presence of physical attraction but do not let it sweep you away.

How to Strengthen a Long Distance Relationship on the Internet

Text and Image Copyright Notice. Published under copyright by Loveawake USA. © Copyright 2010-2020. All rights reserved.

You have met someone over the internet who seemed to be your perfect match. The catch though is that you are miles apart from each other. So you may find yourself asking whether engaging in some kind of long distance relationship is worth it.

Well, it may surprise you how one relationship can really grow if couples work for it. There are ways by which you can make your relationship one of the happiest and most prosperous ones that existed.

Despite the distance, dating can become one great experience with ways of communication such as skype and phone calls that enable both of you to learn about each other’s personalities, values, qualities, aspirations and dreams which in return can nurture a special kind of intimacy. Normal relationships are already complicated so expect a long distance one to be a lot more challenging than usual. To help you get through long distance relationships in general, you may apply these simple guidelines with your relationship:

  1. A relationship’s quality is highly likely to get better when couples are able to freely open up with one another. In finding a soulmate, you must remember to never be afraid of letting the other person know your needs and wants in a relationship. This will allow him or her to assess whether he or she can provide it.
  2. Treat your relationship with high importance. You must avoid putting off calls or cancelling get-togethers. For you to answer the question how can you find love, you must make it a priority.
  3. Maintain a regular communication. You may regularly call each other or send e-mails, cards and letters. However, you must remember that when you do so, you must not just linger in sweet talks, you must as well keep one another posted with each other’s activities. Through this, you let each other see how each of you thinks, feels and develops. Things as heartfelt letters and late-night conversations can express a great deal of things that may prove to be important in the long run such as your dreams, goals and values.
  4. Let your partner know how you love or how you often think about her or him, make her or him miss you a lot more and have the constant longing of seeing you. However, make sure that you don’t get possessive. Paranoia coupled with accusations only foster doubts, insecurities and tensions between the two of you.

The thing about finding a soulmate is that if he or she sincerely likes you, he or she wouldn’t waste any time to be by your side. As long as there is trust and constant communication in your relationship, despite being miles apart, you can build a fairly satisfied happy relationship.

Addicted To Love

Published under copyright by Loveawake dating site. © Copyright 2009-2020. All rights reserved.

My son calls me to share his exciting news.  He is in love.  His voice is full of enthusiasm and he can barely contain himself.  “Mom, she is the most beautiful girl in the world, both inside and out.”  I smile.  I encourage him to tell me all about it.  My son is 21 years old.  He is a college student whose life is wrapped around his Internet business and classes.  How giddy am I that he has finally found time for a date and love? Ahhh...The signs of love.

Ironically, later in the day, my daughter calls.  She is in a college that competes with her brother, an hour away.  They are three years apart but born on the same day.  They have a relationship like twins, close and fun, so they enjoy the competition.  “Mom, how do you know when your in love? I mean what are the signs?”  Again, I smile.  It’s an age-old question and I feel just age-old-enough to answer it.

I am 46 years old, and I’ve been married for 25 years.  Not just married but married to my best friend.  It has been a great union, although not always bliss. I mean how realistic is that?  If it were always bliss, how in the world can we really qualify it as love?  Love endures. However, it’s been a great time full of wonderful memories that we are still making.  We still hold hands, we still support each other, and we still disagree.  It’s full and deeper than those first years and worth every minute.

So I tell my children, love is many things and comes in many forms.  Young love is giddy and fills the senses with pure happiness. It’s an intense energy that pulls like a magnet and makes life suddenly seem completely perfect.   I tell them they will know when love is real when it manifests itself in the most important ways.

Real love will give and receive.  It’s a mutual desire to be happy together.  That requires compromise.  You are no longer alone and it’s no longer all about you.  It’s now about two of you and it requires give and take.

Love is intimacy that has nothing to do with sex.  Do you feel comfortable sharing your most private thoughts with this person?  Will this person hold those thoughts in safekeeping and share his thoughts in return?  Communication will become the most vital tool in a marriage, so it’s important to have a foundation of trust and the ability to talk honestly now.

Love is supportive.  Does this person support your hearts desires, your talents and abilities, your dreams?  Do you in turn support his desires, his talents, and his abilities? A marriage is a two way street that should encourage the dreams and goals of the other.  Life is short.  If you are in a relationship where all the focus is on the success of only one partner, then the sacrificing partner will eventually resent it and the trouble will begin.

Love is not about looks.  Okay, he is very GQ.  She looks like a model.  So what?  Looks are temporary.  The question is do you only feel great around this person when you’re out showing him off?  If so, love will be short lived.  In fact, it’s not love at all; it’s really a greedy kind of infatuation that only serves to make you look good.  Get past the superficial.  Physical attraction is only one small part of true love.  In other words can you spend time with this person without kissing, touching or sex and enjoy it?  Are you as in love with his brain and personality as you are with his looks?

Love is not about changing him.  If you have a list of things you just know you can change about him after you get married, it’s time to stop and rethink the relationship. Love is not about changing him.  Life will change both of you over time, but you must realize right now that you can’t change someone else.  Only yourself.  If you’re constantly convincing yourself that you can change this or that about him, think again.  ‘Cus it’s not love, it’s just your next project.

Love…likes.  Yep, after time love becomes secondary to like.  In fact, after a number of years of marriage and kids, love can be taken for granted.  Of course you love him.  But do you like him?  Do you see yourself laughing, playing, and spending volumes of time with this person after the hard facts of life set in?  Friendship is so important to healthy love. Now we certainly have friends we are not in love with.  However, if we can’t be friends with the person we believe we are in love with, watch out!

Love makes us feel good about ourselves.  Some attractions are unhealthy and always leave us feeling bad about ourselves.  With every meeting we spend time making excuses for that person or telling ourselves “we will do better next time.”  This is not love.  This doesn’t mean you can’t have moments when you feel badly, but they are the exception not the rule.  If the majority of your time is spent making excuses or feeling badly, it’s not a healthy union.

On the other side of this is the clincher, the quotient that some have the hardest time accepting.  Love is about the disagreement.  It’s hard to get through life without disagreements.  They happen to everyone.  Those that say they never argue either lie or are just not that close, which is a little scary.  Now, I’m not talking about knock down drag out screaming and yelling.  That’s just not healthy or productive.  I’m talking about disagreeing.  I have told my children when they think they are in love, to wait until the first disagreement then they will know for sure.  How you disagree with a person is telling and it determines both the strength and the kindness of that person.  It also speaks of their ability to resolve and move on, their ability to forgive.  A disagreement is the test of love.  It’s not IF you disagree, it’s if you can and still love.

My daughter now feels more confident about her vision of love.  We don’t yet know if my son is indeed in love.  They are still wide-eyed and perfect to each other.

What I know about love is this.  It may tingle at the beginning and light your heart on fire.  Sometimes I think we are born young and beautiful to catch the attention of the opposite sex and to inspire that initial attention.  However, just like children love must grow up to be healthy.

It moves past the physical to a spiritual, meaningful place where even wrinkles and weight are still beautiful.  It may even be more beautiful than the perfection of youth because it comes with the bond of enduring through life’s struggles together, hand in hand.  It raised children.  It took care of aging parents.  It bought the first home with little or no money and then finally went on to buy the dream home, which was more stressful than either could have imagined.  It took vacations and played board games as a family. It worried together on their children’s first dates.  It frustrated over broken down cars.  Simply put, it lived. However, every love started out young and grew.  Love has qualities just like a person, and it’s those qualities that determine if it is real. 

All I know about love I learned in twenty-five short years of marriage.  That at 5 o’clock in the afternoon I can hear my husband’s old used truck rattle down our paved, tree-lined driveway and my heart sparks again just like it did yesterday and the day before.  He is home and I smile.  I am a woman in love.

Is He Your Soulmate?

The term "soulmate" often carries visions of mystic astrological card readings, reincarnation and destiny. But you don't have to believe in anything supernatural in order to have a soulmate. Your soulmate is someone who lights the fire inside of you, whom you love unequivocally and who shares your worldview. So does your guy make the grade or are you settling for a relationship that's just "nice?" Find out now if he's your soulmate